Promise
by camy.bis
Summary: The Doctor almost lost Clara and he's scared. Fear makes him open up and he talks to Clara about how important she is to him. 12/Clara friendship and/or romantic, depends on how you see it.


Leaning himself against the TARDIS console, he was silent, not letting a word out his mouth, fearing he wouldn't be able to stop the flow if he opened the gate. He almost lost her and he was powerless. If it wouldn't have been for Martha's fast reflex she would be gone. She was in danger and he was petrified by the terror the sight of her in front of an armed Dalek gave him. Words weren't exchanged, until Clara got tired of this heavy silence and decided to go to sleep.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when she heard the door creak open, his lanky silhouette observing her.

"Doctor? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I couldn't." His voice was strange, throaty.

"So you thought of paying me a visit at 3 am?"

"I need to ask you something."

Clara was really alarmed now. What could have been so important that couldn't have waited until morning?  
"Tell me"

The Doctor took a long breath before sitting on the edge of Clara's bed, cautiously looking for her hand beneath the sheets, finding comfort in her warm palm and fingers.

"Do you feel safe? I know I've already asked you, my memory is not getting worse, just… this is another face and I don't always… make myself clear."

"Doctor, of course I feel safe. What happened today didn't change anything, okay?" Clara didn't know what to do if not reassuring him. She wasn't used to these displaying of emotions anymore and she feared she wasn't able to handle them now.

"Yes, Clara, something changed. My old self would have already sent you away again by now, he was so scared of you getting hurt while I can't even get myself to do the right thing for you."

"Well, honestly speaking, Doctor, I'm pretty happy of not being sent away." She chuckled.

"I know. That's the problem. Neither of us can't get away from the other. And, most of all, I can't.  
Do you remember Amelia Pond? I must have talked about her sometime… she was the first face chin boy saw and I, -he, got so attached to her that when the time came for her to leave me, he couldn't handle it. Well, until you, well more-or-less-you, brought that drama queen down that damned cloud.

The point I'm trying to make is that even that body, born alone, couldn't do anything but rely on the first person he saw: a Scottish read-head little girl. Honestly I think this accent has something to do with that, damn it. Even my ninth face had an accent from the north, yet-"

"Doctor, you're rambling again"

"Right, sorry. I was saying… Chinny knew how much he hurt you by sending you away, but he had no other option: he was so scared, Clara. So he passed on only one thought to me during the regeneration: take care of you. Make sure that you would be happy whatever happened. And you know this old face by now, always rushing things: I couldn't wait to get out and show you the universe, to live and see that pretty face of yours again. That's why the regeneration was so abrupt. Not only you were the first face this face saw, you were simply the first thing I laid my new eyes on. You could say you've got me wrapped around your finger." He chuckled bitterly.

"Forgive me, Clara. I can't make the best choice for you this time around. So be careful, uh?"

She looked into his watery eyes. She has never seen this face so vulnerable. So she tightened her grip on his skinny hand.  
"Doctor, you seriously want me to promise to never put myself in danger for you again? Because I'm sure that's pretty much impossible.  
"Let's make a deal. I'll try to stay out of trouble, as long as you don't go searching for them."

"But Clara, I don't go searching for troubles, troubles usually find me!"

"Stop quoting Harry Potter and listen to me: you can't stop me from dying and we both know that. My time will surely come before yours and you're the one that has to make me a promise: whatever happens don't go back to your stupid cloud and let the grief get the best of you. The universe needs you and if you try to do something stupid, I'm telling the TARDIS to stop you from getting stuck somewhere!"

The Doctor was speechless, a tight knot in his throat.  
"We all get stuck somewhere, remember?"

"Yes, and everything ends. Except for love, not always."

He chose to believe to that.  
This face could detect lies easily, but this once, just for the hell of it, he chose to believe her.  
And even though he later regretted believing, he kept the promise anyway, keep running for his impossible girl, with the slim hope to find her again someday.

* * *

**A/N: This was my first story written in english and all advices on how to improve my writing are welcome! **


End file.
